well, I'm at school now, and strangely enough, Diaryland.com isn't blocked by Bess (the filter service that my schoolboard uses that blocks virtually every site on the internet for unknown reasons, to the point where even the teachers are fed up with it.) so I thought I'd write a bit about nothing, just the same aimless rambling you will come to expect from me. (if, by some strange twist of fate, people actually read this on more than one occasion, that is.) "Jim"* is sitting next to me, and she seems to be intrigued by the factt hat I have an online diary and no typing skills, but she's gone back to writing an assignment on "a tale of two cities", which I've never read, so I'm just going on about nothing.

I'm still feeling pretty sick; and my cold has progressed to the point where I have to keep myself from coughing because I'm afraid that I'll choke to death or throw up. the cold stuff my mom bought me (though extra strength) isn't helping much either.

There's about 8 school days left to this year, and this is a really scary thought for me. I've lived here for nearly 11 years, and I've gone to school with most of my classmates for that long. EDHS itself has been my home for five years, less the three months I lived in France, and it's hard to believe that I'll be leaving it all behind forever. so I thought I should talk about some of the things I'll miss...

I'll miss having an orange locker. most of the rest of the school have crappy-ass white or beige ones, but mine is bright orange.

I'll miss the theme days, particularily retro day, which has long been my favourite day of the year. I'll miss being referred to as "Cyndi Lauper" by the grade tens.

I'll miss Winter Carnival and Tabloid Day, and the events at both that involved rubber chickens and/or frisbees.

I'll miss the first day of school and all the anticipation that comes with it; the new people and new faces; the new courses and new paper.

I'll miss the math portables, where I was taught math every year except this year. I'll miss the way they were cold in the winter, roasting in the summer and always smelled funny. I'll miss the way that they were somehow instinctively math portables, and could never be anything but.

I'll miss the grassy knoll in the bus turn around and how, when it rains (as it is today), it always fills up with water and creates the EDHS "lake".

I'll miss the cafeteria, for the many hundreds of hours I spent in there playing euchre, hearts and asshole, from grade nine through to this year. I won't miss the cafeteria food, but I might miss making fun of it.

I'll miss the seminar rooms, aka the "unofficial OAC lounge" and the daily re-enactments of fight club I saw there. I'll miss all the time we spent trying throw pencils up to the ceiling in the library and make them stick.

I'll miss playing "bush" with the guys when we were supposed to be in photography class.

I'll miss the gym, home of treble charger concerts and many other events I lived through at EDHS.

I'll miss hiding books in other people's bags and setting off the book stealing alarms in the library.

I'll miss hanging out on the benches, watching the world go by and pondering my own existence with anyone who cared to listen and even with those who didn't.

I'll miss putting stuff in TC's 'fro when he wasn't looking.

I'll miss hugging K every day in the hallway.

I'll miss the sexual innuendos that my friendship with Gino seemed to entirely consist of.

I'll miss Minty's singing punk rock in history; mrs. w's introspective questions; slotin's hair and vocabulary; Lainey's hostile takeover of student services; chinese food with miss w; mr. b and the SOH-CAH-TOA shrine; chuck the meatman and his IGA pants; d'aoust and the exchange project.

I won't miss the urine fountain, or Spartacus.

but I'll miss the belongingness. the knowing everything. the sameness I so often lamented and disdained. the conformity and the routine that meant I was safe.

I'll miss a lot of things, but I'd rather miss them than have them.

~rhiannon

"school days, school days,

I'm older now but what will I find?"

--the runaways

*all names used here are aliases. well, almost all of them.

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