my first entry from home since the very first one. it's saturday night and perhaps I ought to have better things to do, but I don't. Jeff asked me to go camping with him, but somehow everytime I go camping it's a) freezing cold or b) pouring rain. tonight seems to be the former, so I'm staying in...but that's okay, because the Pretenders are supposed to be on radiosonic tonight, and I think it's the concert dad and I went to in March.

not much to report in my life, I'm slowly moving towards my last day of school even though I'm trying hard to not have it end. it's like burning your security blanket or something, and right now my actual security blanket is sitting on my lap...I don't want to give it up.

it's ten-thirty now and the damn concert's still not on...and all I want to do is go to bed, but I have to tape the damn concert...if it ever comes on.

not sure what to type here...my personal life seems to keep going in strange circles that don't make much sense. I feel really personally insecure right now, and I think that I'm over-analyzing my life...to death. I want very much for certain things to happen, but at the same time I'm afraid to take responsibility for them and make them happen. and I'm realzing of course, that if I don't take control I'll probably regret it for a long time. but at the same time I feel as though my hands are tied...and they probably are.

so I guess I should go to bed now...and stop feeling sorry for myself

rhiannon

"lightning crashes..."

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