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00:20:45 & 2000-12-15

Another uneventful but cold day in the ultra-exciting urban centre that is Elmvale. Today's highlights include fried potatoes for supper and another blow out fight with my mother.

I don't understand why my mother affects me the way she does, why she has a need to make me feel bad about myself. Our relationship has never been easy, and I had really hoped that after being away at school for 3 months, things would be different between us. If anything it's worse, and I'm wondering how I'll make it through the month.

Through conversation with a friend, I've discovered that most of my negative images of myself come from my mother and things that she's said to me. I don't know what that means, but it scares me.

My mother is a wonderful woman, she really is. I love and admire her, I just can't get along with her. And believe me, I do try.

"maybe I'm just like my mother
she's never satisfied
why do we scream at each other?
this is what it sounds like
when doves cry"

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