It's actually still the 8th, so I don't know why this crazy thing says it's the 9th.
the last week has been pretty tough. I'm so anxious to get home that I can't focus on much else. It's been a pretty shitty week aside from that. I don't know what's wrong with me today; I haven't felt this bad in...probably about a week and a half. The current catalogue of what's wrong: April's dying, I have very little food left (ie, little that isn't canned or "add water"), I can't go home until the 17th, I have 2 midterms and an essay to do, my thesis for said essay was judged to be "superficial and unsophisticated", Gravity and I came the closest to a real fight that we ever have last night (and I'm still not too sure how resolved that is), I've had a drink and I think it's making me sad, Kitana and I almost had a fight yesterday, there's something wrong with one of my ears, I may have a depth perception problem and I don't get to go out for supper tomorrow night with the people I want to, because I have to go get new glasses.
Once I start feeling sorry for myself, it's hard to stop. I'm sure something good must have happened sometime today, but I think I missed it. Oh, I called Ang and she sounded much better than she has the last couple times I've talked to her...I can't wait to see her in a couple weeks.
I think a good part of it is that I didn't get too much sleep last night (due to the my non-fight with Gravity) and how disappointed I was with my English essay proposal. I honestly thought that my thesis and insights were...well, pretty fucking brilliant. It's doubly upsetting because English is the one class I've been doing consistently quite well in, and it's frustrating to fuck up like this. I hate the fact that I also have substantially less time to do anything about it since I only have a week to do write it, and in that time I've got geology and spanish midterms to study for. and I've missed 4 of the 8 lectures I'll be tested on in geology.
I apologize for all the profanity. I just want to sleep through the ext 3 years of my life. and not wake up. even for a little bit. I think I might run away to cleveland. I just really can't handle this right now. I don't want to go to bed because I'm afraid I won't be able to get out of it tomorrow.
"don't you ever ask them why if they told you you would cry so just look at them and cry and know they love you"