I have a feeling that this entry will turn out a lot more negative than it should, since most what's swimming in my head is a a little negative right now. I'm actually feeling alright, so don't worry about me too much. I'm a lot more resilient than I pretend to be.
The first negative thing is that my roommates are fighting. Specifically, 5 of us are having problems with one girl because she won't do any of her dishes (the rest of us will end up doing them because we need the dishes--she left for reading week and left dishes in the sink) and she doesn't clean up. This was the tip of the iceberg until this girl started to watch TV late at night at full volume and refusing to turn it down even though three of the people living in this house had midterms at 8:30 the next morning. Anyhow, last night, two of our roommates were talking in the hallway outside my room, and this girl (who lives downstairs), screams up at them to keep it down. Okay--not only does she refuse to turn things down if we ask her to, but they were right otuside my door and I could barely hear them, so I don't think they could have been that loud to someone downstairs. They did start talking quieter, though, and two minutes later she starts screaming again about how loud they're being and how mean we are to her, so Anastasia just told her that they "weren't that fucking loud" and to close her door if it was that much of a problem. Anastasia intimidates the hell out of me. I like her a lot, but she's scary.
I feel bad about the whole situation, becuase I know it must seem like we're ganging up on her, but at the same time, she's really bringing it upon herself. I'm doing the best to stay out of (by physically staying in my room if it seems likely that confrontation will happen) because I don't want to get involved anymore than I already am. I can't wait to be out of the situation.
The other thing that's bothering me is sort of a me and Gravity thing. We've been discussing the summer, and how actually being together will bring a whole new level to our relationship. (And if you can't figure out what that means...then maybe you shouldn't read this.) And frankly, I feel a little awkward about it...or parts of it. 'Cause to be honest, I have minimal (and I mean minimal) sexual experience. Gravity is hardly a manwhore, but he is more experienced than I am, and that bothers me. On one hand I appreciate it because it's good that one of us knows what they're doing, but on the other hand it scares me. Like, what if I'm not good enough? Is he going to be making comparisons? What if I'm really not good? What if this makes him realize that he doesn't love me as much as he thinks he does?
I hate my stupid overactive imagination. I just feel so...grr....I feel like crying.
In good news, I get to do the Album Reviews for the next issue of the Hibou and I even got a CD to review from BMG. It's the Waterboys' new one. I don't know much about the band aside from "Fisherman's Blues" but I love that song dearly. I'm doing two review columns, so I think my other one will be about Canadian music, in honour of the Junos the other night.
I finished my history essay, so it's relatively smooth sailing from here on in--one English essay and two French presentations...now I just have to make sure I go to all my classes.