I am a mess. I don't know what's wrong with me. GRavity thinks I'm depressed. I just think I'm wrong. We've come pretty close to fighting these last couple nights, and it's all my fault. Well, maybe a little his fault. Because as I keep trying to explain to him, telling me that I "need to relax" is not helping. AT ALL. In fact, it's only making me more irritated. To say nothing of frustrated. I *am* going crazy. I'm not sure if Gravity's mad at me. He probably should be, because I've been awfully bratty and pettish as of late, and I'm taking out all my pent up anxieties on him.
Or at least that's what he seems to think. I'm not so sure, because I don't think I have that many pent up anxieties at the moment. Which doesn't give me any excuse for the way I've been acting, and I don't even know how to explain it to myself. Maybe I'm just naturely self-destructive. I suppose there will always be a part of me that doesn't think I deserve to be happy.
Please don't go getting the idea that I'm depressed. I am not depressed. Merely contemplative. Trying to figure out where I'm going wrong. I seem to keep hurting pople without intending to. Only I do intend to. Not that that makes sense in anyway. I think what I mean is I hurt people to try to get a reaction from them, and then I'm surprised when they are hurt.
I am an evil, awful person these days.
-Rhiannon "We may still have time, we might still get by Every time I think about it I want to cry With bombs and the devils and the kids keep coming Nowhere to breathe easy no time to be young
But I tell myself that I'm doing all right There's nothing left to do tonight"