Not too much is new here. Magma stuff is still going--dare I say it--"magma-neously" (Come on, you had to know I was working up to a bad Magma pun). Mostly I just have a huge headache that's making me a complete spacecase. For example, I just tried to take four ibuprofen instead of two, because four came out of the bottle when I opened it, and I didn't think to put them back until it was almost too late.
I had a pretty good day at school today. I said smart things (I think, they seemed intelligent to me at the time) and I spent time with good people, which is always a plus. One of the newer friends I've made is very much how I'd imagine Briget Jones being in person, minus the British accent and the constant interest in sex, and add in about 60 IQ points. She made a joke about trying to turn her gluteus maximus into a gluteus minimus, and it made me giggle for a stupid amount of time. I had a NUSTAND meeting (student-alumni network) which I think went well; even if many jokes were made about how stupid busy I'm gonna be this year.
I have come to the realization that I have absolutely no idea where my Rufus Wainwright CD is, and this is very upsetting. I miss my Rufus :( And speaking of missing CDs, hey Benjamin, where's my Ed Harcourt?
For someone who didn't think she had a lot to say, I seem to be doing a capital job of rambling on right now. I'm heading home tomorrow for the weekend, which I'm definitely looking forward to. Thanksgiving is definitely the ideal holiday for me: it falls right in that part of October where I begin to get sick of school, North Bay and my roommates; where I need to get home again so I can refresh myself and come back here to face another year.
Because at the rate I'm going I don't know if I can. I want out, pronto. I want out, but I also realize that there is no way out. Not for me. Not now. NOt unless I take off to Mexico and freedom...but Mexico wouldn't be the same by myself, and no one will come with me.
Maybe what I lack is the courage to make my own decision to stand proudly on my own two feet and say "this is what I think. this is what I believe. this is what I thought you said. and I'm sorry if things got misconstrued somewhere, but I'm not going to take this anymore." It's a little sad how many situations in my life I could apply that to right now. Gee, I wonder how many veiled metaphors I can use in this entry. And why I bother to use them at all, since I have nothing to hide from anyone who reads this.
Maybe it's because even this is only little pieces of me. Don'te ever assume you've got the full picture, because there will be always something I'm not telling, something I've got hidden up my sleeve, soemthing I've censored because I don't want my audience to think I'm a bad person.
And yet, and still, and so on and so forth, WHY THE FUCK DO I CARE? Inquiring minds want to know.