So today was basically like Yesterday: Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Boo to that. I forgot to mention that yesterday I got my flu shot (hurray for immunization) and today my arm is all achy and sore as a result. I hate get shots. It's such a creepy thing. This is a big part of why I'm not into intravenous drugs. Not that I would be even if I liked getting needles.

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I'm generally a happy-go-lucky person, or at least I like to think so. I am melancholy, certainly, but so much of that is internalized, I don't know how well I express it to other people (if at all). I would say that most of that ends up here. Part of me is afraid that it's Seasonal Affective Disorder kicking in, or my depression coming back. I'm actually very afraid of that. I didn't talk about it much last year when I was going through it, for a variety of reasons, and I probably shouldn't start now, but yeah, I'm scared. I really don't think I can handle being depressed this year along with everything else in my life. It will be tres not good.

I guess I'm just afraid of a lot right now, and very passive-aggressive and stuff like that.

I'm starting to become afraid of blindness. My eyesight is pretty poor and getting worse (I've only had these glasses for about a year and I'm already having to squint and do a bifocal headtilt kind of thing to see better), and I'm 'at risk' for retina detachment stuff. I've recently noticed that I've started to display 'blind' behaviours and habits, specifically trying to put things in the same place and the same way every day so that I can find them without my glasses on. It's scary.

I hate getting into 'moods like this, because I find it so hard to focus on anything positive, and the ghoulies and ghosties and long leggedy beasties (etc.) really do seem like they are out to get me.

god, I hope tomorrow's better.

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